What it means to be loc’d.

01 Jul

So I have been loc’d for about a year and a half. Over this journey I have had constant doubts about the ambiguous nature of pleasing myself or pleasing someone else. We always want to please those who play a part in our lives whether directly or indirectly. So when I think about who I affect with growing my hair so freely I become a little torn. I have a decent respectable job. They have accepted my locks and no one has ever questioned me, but me. I have created a dynamic that makes me feel paranoid at times that my locks are not ideal for ANOTHER job. I even know a person who changed their hairstyle to go to an interview. So that doesn’t help my paranoia. And then …

I listened to a youtuber who talked about his journey and his acceptance of who he is under the umbrella of locks and I found my footing again. It was like an award show. It was as if he was accepting an award for his perserverance and walk on his journey. He used words like ‘be encouraged’ and ‘friendships’ a lot. It felt like a brotherhood. It felt safe to be yourself.

Great Vid. Thanks Jirod.

To answer that statement: What it means to be loc’d. Answer: Paranoia at times.

This tells me that I have to be balanced in my actions in order to divert these feelings. I am usually balanced but as with any journey you get tired and a little confused along the way. This is that moment.



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2 responses to “What it means to be loc’d.

  1. Tieshka Smith

    July 1, 2013 at 5:29 pm

    Congrats on staying loc’d for nearly 2 years. The internal struggle is real, but as you see those beautiful extensions of your evolving soul growing longer and stronger, you’ll begin to forget that you even had doubts. And jobs come and go. The key is being true to yourself, whatever that defining truth is for you. Peace on the journey!

    • Natrodisiac

      July 1, 2013 at 5:54 pm

      Thanks for your thoughts because it was hard to admit that I was having them. It was like why think such a way. But the truth was a ramdom though would seek in here and there. Thanks again…


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